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In our EndNotes column today, we answered a question about why people tell cancer horror stories to people going through cancer treatment. Or why they react in weird ways to cancer news. For instance, when my co-author, Catherine Johnston, confided in a colleague that she was taking several weeks off for cancer treatment, the woman replied, “I have news, too. I’m getting a new job!”
Cathy stood up and left the room.
The column is a good reminder (to me!) to listen better to all stories, especially those involving suffering. It seems like it's helpful to share a similar story (it conveys you know what they are feeling, etc.) but people about 99 percent of the time just want their story listened to.
Spokesman-Review features writer Rebecca Nappi, along with Catherine Johnston, an Olympia, Wash., writer who works in hospital administration, write about issues of grief when facing serious illness, dying, death and other forms of loss.
Ask a question: Rebecca and Catherine answer grief questions in their syndicated EndNotes column for McClatchy-Tribune Information Services. Email them at endnotescolumn@gmail.com.
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bridgie57 on February 23 at 4:23 p.m.
I was surprised to hear about the negative things said to people with cancer. Since my cancer diagnosis, I have been humbled by the heartfelt and positive ways in which my friends and co-workers have reacted. They’ve provided wonderful words of encouragement, hugs, offers of help, and on and on. Not a negative word at all.